“I’m Not Anxious—I’m Just Thorough.”
You re-read every email before hitting send. You double- and triple-check your calendar. You obsess over the exact wording of a text. You replay conversations in your head to make sure you didn’t say the wrong thing. You delay big decisions—even small ones—because something just doesn’t feel quite right.
From the outside? You look meticulous. Sharp. Professional.
But inside? It’s exhausting.
And you may not realize that this isn’t just perfectionism. It might be Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)—hiding behind success, masked by competence.
OCD in Women Is Often Missed—Especially in High Performers
OCD is one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. Many people think it’s just about handwashing or organizing your closet. But at its core, OCD is about mental distress driven by intrusive thoughts and compulsive attempts to neutralize them (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
In women—especially those in leadership roles—OCD often gets overlooked because:
- The compulsions look like high standards
- The distress gets hidden behind productivity
- The fear of being “irrational” keeps them from seeking help
- They’ve been praised their entire lives for being exacting, responsive, and detail-oriented
So they don’t look disordered. They look ideal.
But internally, it’s a different story.
How OCD Hides Behind Leadership
Here’s how obsessive-compulsive traits can show up in high-achieving women:
- Mental checking: Repeating conversations in your mind to make sure you didn’t offend anyone
- Reassurance-seeking: Asking colleagues or friends if something “sounded okay” over and over
- Over-researching: Reading ten versions of an answer before making a decision
- Rigid routines: Needing things done a specific way “or else” the day feels off
- Fear of errors: Not because of failure—but because you fear causing harm or being seen as irresponsible
The compulsions may be internal—no visible rituals—but they’re draining your mental bandwidth all the same.
Why You Haven’t Recognized It Until Now
One reason OCD flies under the radar in high-functioning women is because the traits have been rewarded. You’ve built a career around being exact, responsive, and responsible.
In fact, the anxiety often drives your performance:
- You’re praised for catching every detail
- You’re trusted because you don’t let anything slip
- You feel “in control” because you’ve preempted every possible issue
But what others see as excellence, you experience as constant internal surveillance.
And while OCD doesn’t make you bad at your job, it steals your peace doing it.
This Isn’t Just Perfectionism—It’s Exhaustion
The difference between high standards and OCD is how you feel when something doesn’t go “right.”
High standards might make you disappointed.
OCD makes you feel:
- Panicked
- Guilty
- Unsafe
- Responsible for imagined consequences
You might intellectually know nothing bad will happen—but the fear doesn’t listen to logic.
That’s because OCD is driven by doubt, not reason. It hijacks your brain’s problem-solving center and traps it in an endless loop of what ifs (Salkovskis, 1985).
You Don’t Need to Hit Rock Bottom to Get Help
Many women with OCD don’t seek therapy until they’re completely burned out—not from work, but from managing their minds all day.
But the truth is, you don’t need to be falling apart to benefit from support.
If your thoughts are running you instead of the other way around, that’s reason enough.
What Therapy for OCD in High-Achieving Women Looks Like
You don’t have to give up your standards. You don’t have to “let things slide.” Therapy helps you untangle anxiety from excellence.
Together, we’ll:
- Identify obsessive thinking patterns that are masquerading as productivity
- Learn how compulsions are actually fueling more anxiety (not solving it)
- Use evidence-based approaches like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) to retrain your brain
- Rebuild trust in your intuition—not your intrusive thoughts
- Create space for rest and creativity—not just control
This is about building a life where you don’t feel like a machine. Where you get to feel capable and calm.
You Don’t Have to Keep Managing This Alone
If your brain feels like a browser with 100 tabs open—and most of them are looping worst-case scenarios—it doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means your anxiety has been doing too much for too long.
And there’s a way out.
If you’re ready to lead without your thoughts leading you, I can help.
Book a consultation with me at concierge.clientsecure.me and let’s quiet the noise together.
Works Cited
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
Salkovskis, P. M. (1985). Obsessional-compulsive problems: A cognitive-behavioural analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 23(5), 571–583. https://doi.org/10.1016/0005-7967(85)90105-6
